Guiding Kids Through Change

Problems with changes are usually based on fear or uncertainty. When things out of our control change or adjust we respond based on how comfortable we are in that area of our life. Children, especially young children, have no frame of reference in most of their lives so they take cues on how to respond from us!

Model the behavior you want to see

• How do you respond to unexpected change?

• How can I change that? Say thoughts out loud. For example: “I wanted to wear my blue shirt, but it’s wrinkled and I don’t have time to iron it. But my green shirt is ready. Ok cool, no big deal! I will wear my green one.”

Have a back up plan

• Lay plans out. For example: “Hmmm the weather looks iffy. Instead of outside play we may have to have an inside game today.” The expectation is already set alleviating the uncertainty.

When bigger planned life changes arise

• Talk about it as soon as you can to prepare for the changes.

• Ask for their help in the process of change. For example: “Next month when we move can you have your favorite clothes set aside so it’s not packed up and you can wear it as soon as possible and not have to dig for it?”

Set and KEEP a consistent home life

• We can’t control everything in our lives but our homes are more likely to be manageable. The more consistent a routine you have for when you are in your home the better.

• Set non-negotiable screen time rules for kids AND parents.

• Hold each other accountable to small daily tasks that help the family.

In the end we all want our children to grow and flourish and not be bothered by small changes and be able to handle big changes with poise and self control. Flexibility comes from practice and isn't gained overnight, resilience in the face of change is the same way. Deliberate practice and encouragement from all the members of the family will ensure success when life throws an unexpected curveball.