Navigating Disappointment

One of the greatest blessings you can give your children is preparing them for disappointments and leading them through those times well.

Preparing them for handling disappointments definitely doesn’t mean that we should tell our children that they should only be pleased if their personal expectations are always met. In fact, that’s not the best strategy by any stretch of the imagination. More times than not, our expectations for ourselves tend to be much lower than they should be. We like to give ourselves far too much grace. So that’s definitely off the table for parenting strategies... We are specifically referring to the disappointment of failure or personal setbacks, NOT the disappointment that mom served broccoli and I prefer mac and cheese.

When something doesn’t go our way, we have one of two options:

Grovel in our disappointment. Woe! Poor pitiful me.

OR

Look our disappointment in the face, take inventory of our emotions, grab our bootstraps, and firmly pull up.

It’s important to reflect on how we demonstrate our own reaction to disappointments. Do we moap and pout whenever we lose out on a promotion to a coworker? Or do we smile and say, “Well, it’s just not the right time for a promotion! I know Coworker earned it. I am stoked for them! I will keep working hard and improve for next time.”

THESE moments PREPARE them and their responses.

When it comes to real-time navigating disappointment with our kids, how should we reflect and course correct? Here are some questions to prompt reflection:

“What action steps can you take to change the outcome next time?”

“How is this a good thing?”

“In what ways will you have a good attitude about this?”

“Who can you talk to to help you make a plan for next time?”