The Blame Game

How often are you hearing your child put blame on someone or something else when they make a mistake or have a struggle?

Are they admitting the “I” in the problem?

For example: Every Monday, Susie's mom receives her graded paperwork in her school folder and signs off that she saw the graded assignments to send back to Susie’s teacher. However, one week, Susie brings home a failed spelling test. This is definitely out of the norm for Susie, but the last 2 spelling tests she has brought home have had pretty low grades. Her mom inquires, “Susie, what happened? Typically you make A’s on your spelling tests…”

Susie's face turns sour, “MOM! You wouldn't believe it... When we sat down to take the test, the person sitting next to me was SO loud that I couldn't concentrate AT ALL. Then, my pencil wasn't sharp, so I had to start my test late, and had to rush to finish. There was no way I could have done better! EVERYTHING was making it worse!”

You know what, bad days happen.

But, the next time you hear your kids say something like this, remind them to take ownership of their actions. Maybe Susie's remarks could be reframed like this: “You know mom, you are right. Our teacher just changed the seating arrangement, and the person that sits next to me is pretty distracting. Tomorrow morning, I will go talk to my teacher and ask her to help. I also should make sure that my pencil is sharpened and I'm ready to take my test next time so that I'm not in a rush.”

One of the most important lessons any parent can teach their child is to take ownership of their actions!

By Lexi Brookey, 4th Degree Black Belt

Instructor Team Chip Abilene